Sunday, April 25, 2010

What to do with an old bra

A hundred-and-one things to do with an old bra. Well, not quite.

I began to write a little book many years ago when a friend asked me for money-making ideas. It is based on the idea of the book, 101 Uses for a Dead Cat, written and illustrated by Simon Bond.

In no time at all I came up with this idea by affiliation with Simon Bond's ideas. I put a notebook and pen next to my bed and wrote down the ideas as they occurred to me. I thought of 50 things to do with an old bra.

We need illustrators to come forward and tender drawings. If we can put a book together and if it sells and makes money we can share the proceeds pro rata.

Of course the major part of an idea like this is the images. Any exceptional graphics designers out there?

More ideas for uses would be appreciated too.

You can attach them as comments to this post. You can store drawings on Google Docs in a common file type (you will need to have a Gmail account) and insert a link in your comment.

Foreword

What do women do with old bras?

We know that once upon a time feminists used to burn bras of any vintage, new and old, to demonstrate their disdain for any item of apparel that would make them appear feminine and attractive to the opposite sex.

Funny then that ‘going commando’ wasn't considered to have the same effect.

Why, I often wonder, aren’t bras recycled? Women spend so much money on their clothing, underwear and perfumery you’d think they’d be thankful for fashionable and expensive hand-me-downs. A visit to a cosmetic surgeon would be worthwhile if it resulted in a breast size that could be accommodated by a rich woman's, sleb's or WAG’s recycled bras.

Little-known facts about the bra

Bra is an abbreviation of a French word, brassière, meaning baby's vest. The French word for bra is soutien-gorge, meaning brassière.

I gave a girlfriend of mine who was big up front the nickname tuppence because her bra size was DD (or two old English pence). I also called her affectionately Circus Girl, alluding to her big top.

The famous Sydney firm of bra makers, Berlei Hestia has a strange second name. The first name is that of its founder; the second name is supposed to stand for 'holds every size tit in Australia'.
Sounds plausible, doesn't it? We may also need a lawyer to defend us in any libel actions.

Here are as many uses for an old bra that you and I can conjure up

I have thought of 50 for starters:

1. Hearing protectors

2. Knee pads

3. Elbow pads

4. Pope's mitre

5. Toy train coal wagons

6. Cricket box

7. Slingshot

8. Weighing scales

9. Yarmulke

10. Elbow patches

11. Blinkers for horses

12. Tea cosy

13. Containers for melons and papayas

14. Monkey's diaper

15. Lampshade

16. Purse

17. Handbag

18. Pot-pourri container

19. Bells on a Xmas tree

20. Sieve

21. Yusuf Islam Muslim cap

22. Find the Lady Shells

23. Doilies

24. Hanging baskets

25. Balloon protectors

26. Fencing mask

27. Ballista

28. Catapult

29. Petanque holder

30. Pin cushion

31. Artist's daub

32. Flower holder

33. Peanuts for the birds in winter: blue tits and coal tits especially

34. Mobile case

35. Coconut shy

36. Reception bell

37. Incense burner (RC)

38. Eye patch

39. Winter willy warmer

40. Easter eggs

41. Ear warmers: ear muffs

42. Sherlock Holmes's hat

43. Air bags

44. Gas mask

45. Anaesthetic mask

46. Theatre mask

47. Ash tray

48. Nibbles cup

49. Candle holder

50. Surf life saver's cap

Your suggestions:

51. Beds for pet hamsters.

52. Binocular lens case/carrier.

53. Heel protectors.